Episode 298: Feelings, Thoughts

Hayato POV

It’s been a really long time since I ate a lunch someone other than my parents made.

But this is a bit too delicious, or rather, it’s basically cheating.

If it’s this good as a bento, I can only imagine how incredible it would be to eat it fresh at home.

Kazunari’s dietary life must be literal heaven, no flattery intended.

But really… Satsukawa-senpai goes beyond being a surprise, she’s an exceptional person.

Despite having such standout looks, she’s incredibly domestic and her cooking is pro-level.

She’s single-minded to a fault and she’s devoted to Kazunari to an impossible degree.

And she doesn’t give any other man a second glance, shows zero interest, won’t act friendly, and doesn’t talk to them more than necessary.

It’s a level of thoroughness that’s actually refreshing.

So, there’s no way a miraculous woman like her, a bundle of ideals, wouldn’t be talked about.

But the outsiders currently making a fuss aren’t doing it because they know Satsukawa-senpai’s unique inner self.

They just have a self-made image of her… but I guess… it really comes down to her looks.

I’m not saying this to brag, but I understand it well because I’m similar in a way.

The worst ones are the people who show a one-sided interest despite having zero connection to me. Those people almost certainly try to decide my character based on my appearance.

That’s why I get called all sorts of things behind my back.

A chara-man, a lady-killer… I’m used to being called that, but I swear, I’ve never played with a woman’s feelings.

I’ve never even once participated in a mixer by choice even though I’m often invited, and I haven’t even attended one since meeting Kazunari.

And yet… I know I’m called that by the guys, partly out of jealousy. It’s a real pain because women approach me for fun because they believe those rumors, and the opposite happens too.

To be honest, I want everyone in my fan club (though I don’t like calling it that) to stop making such a scene. But I’m honestly happy to be supported, so I can’t just be cold to them…

So from my perspective, Satsukawa-senpai, who can thoroughly exclude anyone other than Kazunari, is truly amazing. I honestly feel that way.

The fact that even that is accepted favorably by those around her is all thanks to Satsukawa-senpai’s own efforts and talent… that’s why she’s「lonely,」I guess.

There’s no way someone like me could ever be like that.

But…

Even for someone like me, I’ve gained friends I can truly call friends, not just on the surface… I’ve gained a best friend. I’ve gained companions who understand me and whom I can show my true self to.

And… finally, someone I can say I truly love has appeared.

For a while, I convinced myself I liked Natsumi-senpai, but now I can honestly say that was just a misconception and a misunderstanding.

Because I can feel that my current feelings for Todo-san and my feelings back then are a completely different species.

If I close my eyes like this, Todo-san’s innocent, carefree smile from that day comes vividly to mind.

I know she thought of me more as a「friend」than a「man,」or perhaps she was even humoring me like a「child.」Her smile and tone were like that, after all.

But that… that kindness-filled smile that showed the purity of Todo-san’s heart captured my heart and hasn’t let go.

Pure… innocent.

Those words fit her perfectly.

She’s the first woman I’ve ever thought was truly adorable and dear to me, to a degree that makes my past crushes look like nothing. That’s Todo Marina-san.

At first, I only saw her as one of my friends through the Kazunari connection.

But in that moment, I received the biggest shock of my life.

And… I fell for Todo-san in an instant.

I fell in love.

It was the first time in my life I’d ever had such intense feelings for a woman.

But… precisely because she is Todo-san, I’ve struggled to make a move.

Because she is innocent, because she is pure, she is extremely oblivious to a man’s affection.

I think it’s because of my weakness for her that I find even that part of her cute.

In that sense, I guess I can’t really talk about Kazunari.

But because of that, I didn’t know how hard to push.

Another reason might be that I’d never had these kinds of feelings for a woman before.

And the biggest wall was the fact that Todo-san doesn’t see me as a「man.」

So I thought I should start by improving that perception.

Haste makes waste.

The one who panics loses.

Always stay calm during a match.

That’s my motto for tennis.

If I suddenly showed my hand to a Todo-san who isn’t even conscious of me, something unexpected might happen. If it resulted in her avoiding me or hating me, it would be counterproductive.

So even if it’s just bit by bit, I thought if we stayed together, she might slowly start to see me as a member of the opposite sex.

If she could start feeling favorably toward me.

And if she became conscious of me as a「man」… that would be the time for my next move.

But…

I can tell that Todo-san still only sees me as a close male friend.

Which means I’m in the same position as Kazunari.

So maybe it’s time to think about a change in strategy.

Risks, ideals… I might have been overthinking things and becoming a coward without realizing it.

I should just take the plunge and follow Kazunari’s example of having some guts.

Seriously… when I find myself in a similar position, I’m constantly reminded of how amazing he is.

Once again, I truly respect you… my best friend.

「Kazunari-san, let’s wipe around your mouth. Please look this way?」

「O-Okay.」

「He-Hey… Sara? Takanashi-san isn’t a child, you don’t have to go that far… right, Takanashi-san?」

「Eh!? No, well…」

Um… I feel bad for Nishikawa-san, but I don’t dislike it at all when Sara-san does this for me.

If anything, I’m happy to let her do it…

「Kazunari-san, if you look away, it will be a no-no, understood?」

「S-Sorry… waph.」

But Sara-san herself completely ignored a frightened(?) Nishikawa-san.

She half-forcefully held something soft to my mouth… a handkerchief, and gently, carefully, wipe, wipe.

「Fufu… you mustn’t move, okay?」

「O-Otay.」

I thought it was probably fine now, but Sara-san showed no signs of stopping.

When I see Sara-san’s smile as she happily wipes my mouth, I feel like letting her keep going until she’s satisfied… wait, I’m always thinking the same thing.

But it can’t be helped.

Because I love Sara-san.

「…I-I-If I stayed quiet earlier… you two really just flirt, and flirt, and flirt, and flirt… seriously… is this some kind of spite against me? It’s a personal attack, isn’t it? It is, right?」

「…He-Hey, Natsumi? Nishikawa-san is… well, how should I put it… dark…」

「…Hmm? Normal operation.」

「…Eh!? I-I see… so it really is… I see…」

「By the way, what have Pretty Boy and Marina been doing for a while now?」

「!?」

「Fueh!?」

Suddenly being named by Hanako-san, Hayato and Todo-san let out surprised cries.

I was curious too, so I looked over at them and found them both looking strangely flustered… especially Todo-san, who was for some reason fumbling with her bag?

I wonder what it is?

They seemed normal up until lunch started, at least.

「No… well.」

「U-Uh-uh, i-it’s nothing, okay?」

「If you want to say a line like that, you should make sure people around you don’t notice.」

「S-Sorry…」

「Uu, I’m sorry…」

It was a bit harsh, but Hanako-san’s point was valid.

So the two of them slumped dejectedly and bowed their heads toward us.

Their movements were strangely synchronized, which was kind of heartwarming.

But since they were being so meaningful, I was curious what they were thinking.

Should I just ask directly?

「Anyway, Marina, if Pretty Boy’s bento is in that bag, you should just take it out already.」

「Wh-Why!?」

「You’ve been worrying about the bag for a while now, and I don’t think Marina would break a promise, so that only leaves one possibility.」

「Auuu.」

I see, so that’s why Todo-san was touching her bag!

Hanako-san is amazing as ever… though she’s just as merciless.

How should I put it, she’s just very Hanako-san in many ways.

Of course, I remembered talking about the bentos the other day.

But Todo-san had already put her own bento on the table, so I hadn’t thought much more of it (or rather, I had other things on my mind).

She actually made a bento specifically for Hayato too.

「Todo-san…」

「H-Hahi!?」

「Did you make a bento for me?」

「…Yeah.」

「I-I see… I see.」

Hayato wore a smile more joyful than I’d ever seen before.

He just looked purely happy… but I understood that feeling well.

Because I’m always happy and blessed to have Sara-san make meals for me.

The joy of having the person you love make you a meal is a happiness that words can’t fully express.

「Eh… eh!? M-Marina, you made a bento for Yokogawa-kun!?」

「U-Um, yeah.」

「Wh-Why…?」

Tachikawa-san looked at Todo-san in confusion.

Since those two have known each other for a long time, maybe she has some thoughts… wait, come to think of it, Tachikawa-san doesn’t know about Hayato and Todo-san yet.

「Kazunari and Pretty Boy can’t cook. But since the Wife and I are making Kazunari’s bento, that’s not an issue, leaving only Pretty Boy. So it was decided that Marina would make one for him.」

「I-I see? But wasn’t the bento supposed to be a potluck…」

「That is that, and this is this.」

「Ah, okay.」

Tachikawa-san tilted her head with a subtle expression, looking like she both understood and didn’t.

But more importantly right now, those two.

「B-But, my bad bento is just… compared to that, Satsukawa-senpai’s or Nishikawa-san’s bentos are…」

「That is not correct.」

Sara-san, who hadn’t cut in until now, spoke with a voice so sharp it even surprised me.

So I immediately checked Sara-san’s state… but she didn’t seem as harsh as her voice sounded, and I could see a hint of softness in her expression.

「When Yokogawa-san himself says he wants to eat your bento, there is no meaning at all in comparing it to mine or Eri’s. I think it is only natural to worry about how it turned out, but in cooking, there is an element called ‘thoughts’ that can compensate for and surpass both skill and taste.」

「S-Satsukawa-senpai…」

「So it is fine. If it is a bento you made while thinking of Yokogawa-san, then for him, it should be better than anything else. Do not hold back, give it to him with pride.」

Because those words came from Sara-san, who has an extraordinary obsession with cooking, they felt even more persuasive than the words themselves.

And… I felt it deeply too, which made it even more so.

The reason I find Sara-san’s food to be the ultimate and the best is, of course, primarily because her cooking fits my tastes.

But that’s because at the fundamental level, there are clear and strong「thoughts」from Sara-san, who truly makes it with me in mind.

And the fact that I can clearly feel that.

The fact that I find that happier than anything else.

That’s why I’m certain that no matter how high-end a restaurant or how famous a chef’s cooking is, it can never beat Sara-san’s meals. It’ll always be that way.

And I’m sure it’s the same for Hayato.

「Todo-san, I want to eat the bento you made for me.」

「Yokogawa-kun…」

「It’s okay. I’ll never compare it to anything else.」

「…U-Um… okay.」

Pushed by Sara-san’s words, and with Hayato’s words being the final blow…

Todo-san nodded cutely, her face turning a little red with happiness.

By the way… I’m surely not the only one who thought Hayato’s line sounded a bit like a proposal.

Also, Todo-san’s reaction caught my attention.

Could that be… maybe…?

Natsumi POV

It looks like those two over there have reached a conclusion.

Honestly… they’re so innocent, or something.

Todo-san is obviously a very honest, cute, and quiet girl.

And Yokogawa-kun is surprisingly naive despite his looks… maybe he’s the type who can’t push with a direct approach or momentum.

But really… he’s a far cry from a certain mean, stubborn person who knows everything but still tries to make me say it… wait, no, it’s nothing.

But did Todo-san’s behavior change just a little bit?

I can’t quite tell yet, but could that be…

…Anyway, I don’t have the luxury of worrying about other people right now.

Because Sara has been throwing some serious looks my way for a while now.

I know exactly why, of course.

Hanako-san made an opening dash and made her move on Takanashi-kun early on. Todo-san also finally made up her mind to hand over her bento.

Which means, naturally, I’m the only one left.

If you go back to the source, this whole bento business was a seed I planted. Because I threw that unnecessary quip at Sara, things became this complicated.

…Saying that makes it sound like I’m the bad guy.

I’m a victim here, too.

For now, in terms of mutual interest, I think the results made Hanako-san, Yokogawa-kun, and probably Todo-san happy.

But for me, since I can easily read the upcoming development, it’s definitely not a situation I can be happy about.

Sara has been implicitly pressuring me with her eyes, saying「Hurry up. Your juniors found their courage, so surely a senior like you wouldn’t do something pathetic like running away, right?」

I know that without being told, and I did make a bento for Yuji. So all that’s left is to bring it out and be done with it.

It’s simple if you think about it that way… but.

But what Sara really wants to say is one step above that.

In other words…

To Eririn, Tachikawa-san, and Daichi…

She wants me to report my relationship with Yuji.

I think Tachikawa-san will be fine for now.

She’ll be surprised, but I’m sure she’ll say「congratulations.」

But Eririn and Daichi… especially Eririn… she’s been having a lot of emotional instability(?) lately.

I’ve heard a certain amount about Eririn.

Forget a good match, she hasn’t even had a satisfactory encounter, and she’s even been forced into marriage meetings…

And the man who pursued her the most was actually the「King of Scumbags,」a literal criminal accomplice.

Meanwhile, on the other hand, Sara, who used to hate men, actually got a boyfriend, flirts in front of her every single time… and ended up getting engaged.

In other words, she’s waking up with a peaceful heart that wants to bless Sara and a fierce anger at being so unrewarded… wait, what am I even talking about?

An-Anyway, I see those messy emotions as the cause of Eririn’s rampages.

And if I report that Yuji and I got together on top of that… well, you know?

…Then again.

It’s mean of me to blame Eririn.

The truth is, I’m just embarrassed to go public myself.

Plus, it’s also embarrassing to re-report it to Daichi, since we’ve known each other since we were kids.

Yuji has been slowing down his eating pace for a while now, waiting for my decision.

And if I keep running away, it’s clear as day that Sara will block my exit.

And above all, I hate keeping something important from my best friends.

So… it’s about time to make up your mind, Natsumi!!

Todo-san rummaged around in her bag for a bit, and what popped out was probably a bento box wrapped in a cute chick-patterned cloth.

Whether she was nervous or there was another reason, Todo-san’s face remained red as she placed it in front of Hayato… and then she looked down bashfully.

「…Can I open it?」

「…U-Um, yeah…」

Once he saw Todo-san’s small nod, Hayato slowly untied the knot of the bag.

A bento box so cute it almost looked like it was for a child appeared, but since mine is similar, it didn’t really bother me.

Cute is justice… that is a universal truth and the path to enlightenment (mysterious).

And as Hayato opened the bento box with a complex expression that was a mix of joy, tension, and a smirk… from where I was, I could see that it was filled with about half rice and half side dishes.

「Um, you see… it doesn’t look very good, but I tasted it, so it should be okay… I think. B-But if it doesn’t suit your taste, you can stop.」

「No, I’ll eat the whole thing. There’s no way it won’t suit my taste.」

「Eh… u-um. Thank… you…」

「I’m the one who should be thanking you. Well then, I’ll dig in?」

「G-Go ahead!」

Um… how should I put it…

The two of them looked so innocent that even I felt embarrassed watching them…

But seeing Hayato and Todo-san like that made me wonder what Sara-san and I looked like to outsiders in the beginning.

Back then, I was… well, just happy to be with Sara-san. Blessed.

Sara-san was always kind, always leading me, and letting me act spoiled.

…Oh?

Could it be that things haven’t actually changed that much?

Still, watching those two brought back those feelings from back then, a sort of bittersweet feeling that started to overflow. That’s how it felt.

So…

「…Sara-san.」

「Kazunari-san, go ahead?」

I only called her name, but Sara-san acted like she understood everything. She quietly stood up and, with a gentle smile, opened her arms slightly to welcome me.

So I simply…

「Fufu… you really are a spoiled one.」

I hugged her, tucking myself between her open arms, and Sara-san immediately held me firmly.

She put one hand behind my head and, as usual, guided my face to her chest.

Softness, kindness, and the sense of security from being enveloped by Sara-san.

It filled my entire heart.

「…He-Hey, Hanako-san. Why did those two suddenly…」

「…They were probably triggered by seeing Marina and Pretty Boy. Most likely, they just remembered the start of their own relationship and wanted to touch.」

「…I, I see. As expected of Hanako-san to understand that much. But Takanashi-kun, he acts when he needs to, but he’s quite the spoiled type, isn’t he?」

「…That’s what’s cute. I actually want to hold him too.」

「…Ah, I see…」

「I’m sorry, Sara-san…」

「No… actually, I felt the same way. If you hadn’t called me, Kazunari-san, I would have done this myself.」

I didn’t know if those were Sara-san’s true feelings or if she was just being considerate of me.

But even so, I could feel Sara-san’s kindness through my whole body.

Because I could definitely feel that she accepted me from the bottom of her heart.

「Watching those two reminds me of when I first started looking after you, Kazunari-san.」

「Not from when we started dating… then?」

「Yes. Back then, Natsumi said all sorts of things to me… but thinking about it now, I think my actions back then definitely exceeded the boundaries of friendship. Especially since I started looking after you at your home, I think what I’m doing now isn’t much different.」

「…True. Actually, I was thinking something similar. But if you think about it that way, does that mean we were practically a couple even back then?」

The fact that we had exceeded the boundaries of friendship was something I’d always thought back then, too.

So if I think about it that way, then just as Sara-san said, the start of our relationship being when she first started coming to my house… that might be right.

「Yes. However…」

Sara-san cut her words there and hugged my head tightly with both hands from behind. Since I was sitting, she leaned over me slightly, drawing her body close.

「My feelings… my heart is different from back then. The feeling of you being precious to me has a different meaning than it did then. Now, I have come to love you so much… I want to hold you like this all the time… I truly want you to act spoiled with me. Because I have become able to say that I love you with pride.」

Sara-san skillfully moved the hand she had around my head, gently stroking the side.

I was happy about that too, so I tightened my hug to show her I was acting spoiled… and then Sara-san let out a happy sound.

「…He-Hey, Hanako-san, the atmosphere between those two is getting a bit suspicious…」

「…I’ll stop them soon before they rampage.」

「…R-Rampage? What more are they going to do!?」

「…A maiden cannot put it into words.」

「…WHAAAAAT!?」

「…Ni-Nishikawa-san, a-are you okay?」

「…………」

「…Natsumi?」

「…Hmm… the timing… when…」

「…Th-This is a problem…」

「Wife, that’s enough. Are you planning on not letting Kazunari eat his meal?」

Just as my head was becoming full of skinship with Sara-san, Hanako-san’s exasperated-sounding quip cut in. In that instant, Sara-san’s body shivered for a moment, and she gently loosened the arms she had around me.

「…I-I am sorry, Kazunari-san. I accidentally…」

「N-No, I got carried away and acted spoiled too…」

I felt a little reluctant, but now that it had come to this, I had to pull away from Sara-san.

But the expression on Sara-san’s face that I caught a glimpse of in that moment… her usual gentle smile, but I felt like I could also see a hint of pain.

And then my heart started pounding again… pounding.

Seriously, Sara-san is…

「…Yu-Yu-Yuji!!」

At a timing that could be called perfect in its own way, Natsumi-senpai suddenly let out a voice that sounded cornered.