Episode 343: The Most Important Thing

My confession sent a shockwave through a part of the audience, and that reaction soon turned into curiosity and surprise directed at Marina-san herself.

Seeing Marina-san look so uncomfortable under the weight of those voices around us, a sense of guilt welled up inside me.

It was only natural for someone like Marina-san, who had no immunity to standing out, to react that way when suddenly thrust into the spotlight, but… still.

「H-Hayato-kun, um… d-do you really… mean me?」

「Yeah. It’s how I truly feel. I’m not lying.」

「B-but, I am… someone like me…」

「…Marina-san?」

What was wrong? Marina-san was definitely acting strange.

I didn’t expect her to be overjoyed without reservation, and I’d fully anticipated that she might be confused, but…

I never imagined a development where she would wear such a sad expression. Why did Marina-san look so sad?

「Listen, Hayato-kun… I’m very… very happy about your feelings. I enjoy being with you too… I can be honest, I’m always smiling… and it feels so good to be my natural self around you…」

「Y-yeah, I feel exactly the same way. That’s why…」

「…Thank you. It makes me really happy to hear that. But… well? Someone like me, really for someone like Hayato-kun…」

「……Marina-san.」

The meaning behind her words began to swirl around in my head.

「Someone like me…」

The implications associated with those words were…

「You see… those rumors about Hayato-kun and Satsukawa-senpai… you know they existed, right? I knew that Kazunari-kun was with Satsukawa-senpai, so I knew they were just rumors, but… well… everyone who was spreading them said the same thing. They said it made sense if it was Satsukawa-senpai, that you two were a beautiful couple and looked good together, and that an amazing person like her was perfect for Hayato-kun… they said all sorts of things. But it’s only natural for an amazing person like Satsukawa-senpai, right? Because she’s so beautiful, refined, and always at the top of the class… she’s perfect at sports, cooking, sewing, and everything else you can think of… and compared to her, someone like me… when I thought about that…」

「M-Marina-san, that’s not true!! Satsukawa-senpai is…」

「Ah, don’t misunderstand. It’s not that I am jealous of Satsukawa-senpai or anything like that, okay? Because I truly respect her, and I even look up to her, hoping to be like her someday. I didn’t mean it like that. What I really want to say is… Hayato-kun, you are an amazing person too… and that means… um…」

「…Marina-san.」

At this point, I understood exactly what Marina-san was trying to say and what was bothering her.

In other words, the thing about Satsukawa-senpai was just a fact that people around her were talking about, and it didn’t have a deeper meaning.

Rather, the problem was that everyone around us was constantly talking about whether we「matched」or not…

「Hayato-kun, you are such an amazing person that so many people support you, you know? Watching that match earlier, I thought so too. You were truly incredible and cool. It made me want to brag that such a wonderful boy was my precious friend… you were really wonderful. But, you see… I am…」

「Marina-san, that doesn’t matter!!!! What’s important is how we feel about each other…」

What should I do? What am I supposed to do!?

I was certain that what Marina-san was thinking was exactly what I had predicted.

I understood clearly why Marina-san wore such a sad expression.

But even if I simply said it「doesn’t matter,」my voice would not truly reach her. From Marina-san’s perspective, no matter how much an「amazing person」like me called out to her, it would just be settled with the words,「Hayato-kun, you just don’t understand.」

So, something…

Something that would make my voice reach Marina-san’s heart…

「Todo-san. I understand exactly how you feel, you know?」

Cutting through that heavy atmosphere… in a perfectly natural way, the person who spoke to Todo-san was…

「…Takanashi-kun?」

Someone who had been watching over us this whole time, and someone who was precious to me in a different way than Todo-san.

It was my best friend… Kazunari.

I intended to watch until the end, but… to be honest, the odds were too far against Hayato in this situation.

What Todo-san was feeling, what was nesting in her heart, was a lack of confidence in herself and something similar to an inferiority complex… and a voice from someone who had, or was thought to have, something「special」would probably not reach her in the true sense.

That was why, no matter how much Hayato tried to persuade her… even if it were Sara-san, I didn’t think Todo-san would be able to honestly accept it.

Even if they could silence the voices around them, in the end, if Todo-san didn’t accept it in her own heart…

If that were the case…

Even if it was meddling, the one who could say it here was…

「…Takanashi-kun?」

「I understand exactly how Todo-san feels right now. After all, my lover… my fiancée, is Sara-san.」

「…B-but, Takanashi-kun, you have so many amazing qualities too…」

「Thanks. But, you know… I don’t really want to say this, but… even with flattery, I’m not exactly good-looking, am I? But Sara-san, no matter who looks at her…」

「Kazunari-san!!!! Don’t say any more!!!!」

「Sara-san, I’m sorry. But… please let me say this just for now.」

「…u…Kazunari-san.」

「It’s okay. I don’t care about that sort of thing at all anymore. Still, if you have a lecture for me, I’ll gladly take it later.」

「…I understand. Later… it is a no-no, okay?」

「…Yes.」

A sense of guilt welled up at the sad expression Sara-san wore… but for the sake of Hayato and Todo-san, I had to say this.

Even if I had to put myself down, this was for their sake…

「T-Takanashi-kun, you don’t have to say those things!! Even I, about Takanashi-kun…」

「It’s fine, just listen for now. To go back to what I was saying… even before Sara-san and I became lovers, and even now, I sometimes hear people say, ‘Why that guy?’ They say we don’t match, they ask if I’ve ever looked in a mirror, they call me cocky… they say all sorts of things. But you see, there’s nothing I can do about my looks, can I? I was born with this face. But the truth is, it’s not just about looks. Like Todo-san said earlier, Sara-san is a truly amazing person. Her studies, sports… everything…」

Sara-san squeezed my hand with a strength I had never felt before.

She looked so pained, and my own heart hurt so much… but this was where the main point of the talk began…

「S-stop it already, Takanashi-kun!! I’ve never thought that once!! I’m sure everyone…」

「Yeah. I know that well. I know that at least everyone… the people around me, are not thinking that. But it’s also a fact that people who don’t know us feel that way. But, you know… do you think I could ever consider giving up on Sara-san just because people say those things?」

「…Eh?」

「I could never do that. Because I love Sara-san… because I love her more than anyone. I could never choose a path where I am not with Sara-san just because I’m worried about other people’s voices. My feelings are not that soft. They are not light. I would throw away everything I have for Sara-san’s sake, I mean that from the bottom of my heart. With that feeling, I don’t care about the contempt of those around me at all. But… separate from that, I still can’t fully satisfy myself… that’s why I put in the effort. It’s not out of an inferiority complex or because I care about what others say. It’s so I can become the version of myself I want to be… so I can be a man worthy of Sara-san, a version of myself I can be satisfied with and hold my head high as…」

I had no idea how much of this had reached Todo-san… I just didn’t know. But the way Todo-san felt like she didn’t match up to Hayato’s greatness… the weakness of inevitably caring about the voices around her, those were all paths I had walked as well…

That’s why I believed Todo-san would surely be able to empathize.

「Kazunari-san…」

Sara-san had small tears in her eyes and looked like she might lunge at me any second… but maybe because she was considering the situation, I felt like she was holding back at the very last moment. But thanks to that, I could still talk. What I had to convey from here was…

「Hey, Todo-san. What do you think about Hayato being popular?」

「…Eh?」

「You saw it too, right? Hayato has a fan club, and they are always friendly like that… did you not think anything when you saw that?」

「…That is…」

「The fact that you can’t answer immediately means you did have some thoughts, right? How did you feel when you saw that? What did you think?」

「………」

「What Todo-san felt was probably the same kind of feeling I have been carrying for a long time. After all, our situations are similar.」

「Ah…」

Just as I thought, thinking of us being in similar positions…

It seemed she had some thoughts on my words too…

「If Todo-san feels like she can’t be satisfied, then she should just put in the effort she can. Even if it’s impossible now, it’s not impossible to gain that ‘something’ you can be satisfied with in the future. But I think the most important thing is to have confidence in your own feelings… to be honest with your feeling of ‘love.’ If you have that, you will not lose sight of what is most important.」

「…To be honest… with my feelings…」

「Yeah. So… let’s both do our best.」

I gave a look to Hayato, letting him know that my talk was finished.

From here on, it was a problem for the two of them… whether Todo-san could overcome her own wall depended on their feelings for each other.

But… it’s not such a difficult thing if you just face your feelings honestly.

Right?

Todo-san…

Marina POV

Takanashi-kun’s words are echoing loudly in my heart. It’s the empathy between two people with the same worries… I can tell he truly understands what I’m feeling…

He made Satsukawa-senpai wear such a sad expression… and Takanashi-kun noticed her, and he could not hide his own pained feelings at all… and yet for my… for our sake, he told me about his own experience. Plus, it was something that described my feelings perfectly…

Truthfully, I know it myself.

I know this feeling is love, and my true heart wants to be by Hayato-kun’s side…

But I don’t have confidence in myself, and if the people around us… especially the people in the fan club, didn’t say congratulations… I felt like I would be doing Hayato-kun a disservice…

Because… I really have nothing.

Satsukawa-senpai, Natsumi-senpai, Nishikawa-san, even Hanako-san… the people around me are all truly amazing. They’re all beautiful, cute, smart, and they all have something that will not lose to anyone… and even Yoko has a very strong heart. she has the courage to face her painful feelings and overcome them. I’m so different from her, just moping around because I have no confidence…

But… but, like Takanashi-kun said, is it okay to leave Hayato-kun’s side over something like that?

Is this feeling I have that light?

The deep, massive sadness Satsukawa-senpai showed earlier… was I making Hayato-kun feel the same way by despising myself…

I…

side Hayato

Damn it… I’m truly pathetic…

To make Kazunari go that far… an uncontrollable anger at my own helplessness wells up inside me.

I knew, of course, that Kazunari used to have a complex about the heartless voices around him and that he’d been secretly suffering. And that he’d overcome it with the strength of his feelings. I don’t want to use such a cheap expression, but it really was the「power of love,」and I could certainly feel that his unwavering feelings for Satsukawa-senpai were causing Kazunari’s strength to well up endlessly.

But Kazunari spoke of those things, which could be called painful scars, for our sake. The suffering and worries Kazunari felt while being with Satsukawa-senpai… they are likely close to what Marina-san is feeling now… and if that’s the case, Kazunari’s words must have reached her.

So that I don’t let my best friend’s feelings go to waste, I’m going to tell Marina-san how I feel once more.

That the feelings are what matter… that the voices of those around us don’t matter, I will… to Marina-san!!