Episode 367: Father-in-law

「Now then, please take your time and relax.」

Kneeling on the floor, the staff member bowed deeply, and we all watched as she quietly left the room.

Now that it was just us family members left inside, a slightly awkward, subtle atmosphere seemed to linger, perhaps because everyone was still feeling the tension.

And it seemed even my Father felt the same, staying silent without saying a word… wait, he’s probably just mesmerized by Mayumi-san.

Honestly… he’s a man who never wavers, to a point where I’m impressed in a bad way.

By the way, as for the crucial Sara-san…

「Hehe, presentation is important for things like this, you know?」

「Eh?」

With a meaningful smirk directed at me, Mayumi-san looked toward the sliding doors… right where the staff member had just exited.

Does that mean the reason Sara-san isn’t here is…

「Thank you very much for traveling such a long distance to join us today.」

「No, no, the pleasure is ours. Our foolish son is always in your debt.」

「Not at all. On the contrary, Kazunari-kun is always looking after our daughter…」

「…Eh?」

Hearing Masaomi-san use the phrase「looking after,」I accidentally let out a small sound. I knew that was just a standard greeting and nothing more, but still… for me to「look after」Sara-san is something I wouldn’t dare say even if my mouth were torn open.

And Mayumi-san, please don’t giggle while watching me. When you make such cute gestures, my Father’s attention drifts even further away.

「Haha… what’s wrong, Kazunari-kun?」

「No, well, I’m the one being looked after entirely…」

「Hmm? Nothing is wrong. The fact that Sara is being looked after by Kazunari-kun is a pure fact, after all.」

「Hehe… Kazunari-kun is truly such a good boy. We are very happy to have made this connection.」

At my reaction, Masaomi-san and Mayumi-san smiled as if it were only natural, affirming the previous statement.

And when faced with such direct smiles, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything further.

「I-Is that so? Such a brainless, ordinary son with no redeeming qualities…」

「Hey, Father.」

「What? I’m only stating the pure facts, aren’t I?」

「Y-You…」

「Alright, alright, alright!! You two, cut it out!! Honestly, every time you open your mouths, you’re bickering… ah!?」

Faced with my Father’s usual irritating self (I’m the victim), it seemed my Mom finally found her rhythm as her tone returned to normal… before she noticed Masaomi-san watching and hurriedly covered her mouth.

Don’t tell me my Mom is starting to act like my Father… no, that’s impossible.

「I-I’m sorry, how embarrassing…」

「No, no, you really are a close-knit family, I’m quite envious. Even Kazunari-kun seems much more relaxed than usual… right, Mayumi?」

「That’s true. I’d actually love for you to stay that way and depend on me more and more… hehe♪」

「D-Depend!!?? H-Hey, Kazunari!! What on earth are you doing with this wife!?」

「Agh, calm down!! That was just a figure of speech!!」

As I said that, I knew full well that Mayumi-san meant exactly what she said. That’s exactly why I can’t say it in front of my Father and the others. Absolutely not!!

If「this」or「that」ever came out, my Father especially would lose his mind!!

「…My apologies, my wife is…」

「N-No, not at all, we are the ones being truly embarrassing…」

And for some reason, my Mom and Masaomi-san were having an exchange that made them look like fellow sufferers… regardless, I didn’t know my Mom was capable of using such humble language.

「Fuyumi-san, it’s been a while~」

「It has been a while, Mayumi-san. I’m quite envious that you’re as youthful as ever.」

「Hehe, I think you’re plenty young yourself, Fuyumi-san?」

Since they had already met, the two mothers began a casual「housewife」conversation.

But comparing my Mom to Mayumi-san’s youth is just asking too much in so many ways… no, never mind.

For a second, I felt like a murderous aura was radiating from my Mom’s back… scary.

「Haha, I’m sure you both have a lot to catch up on, but let’s sit down and settle in first.」

「Ah, right. Then…」

「Excuse me while I… there.」

Prompted by Masaomi-san, we sat down on our respective cushions, with my Father leading the way.

On the other side of the table, Masaomi-san sat across from my Father, and Mayumi-san sat across from my Mom… which meant that the seat across from me was naturally for Sara-san, who wasn’t here yet.

「I’m truly delighted to have this opportunity to meet in person. There were many things I wanted to discuss with you both as soon as possible.」

「Man, I’m sorry I was late due to my own circumstances. Long-term business trips are rare, but they just had to ask me at a time like this.」

「Haha. Isn’t that a sign that your company relies on you?」

「No, no, it’s not for such a noble reason. It was just an order pushed down from the top… oops, pardon me, it just slipped out.」

「No, no, please don’t worry about it. Since it’s a gathering like this, being frank is actually appreciated.」

「I appreciate that as well. I’m not very good at formal settings where you have to be careful about everything…」

「Father!!」

My Father is fundamentally fearless, but I told him this was an important meeting, so I wish he’d stop making declarations like「I don’t want to be careful.」It’s true that Masaomi-san and Mayumi-san are friendly, but it’s still the first meeting, so be careful!

「Haha, it’s fine, Kazunari-kun. To be honest, this is my first time in a position like this too. It actually helps a lot.」

「Isn’t he a wonderful Father? Right, Kazunari-kun?」

「No, what part of him is wonderful…」

「Woooooah, you are the one who is truly wonderful and beautiful… I’ve seen all sorts of people through my work, but I’ve never seen a woman as pretty as you, Ma’am!!」

Flattered by Mayumi-san (standard social etiquette), my Father’s mood rapidly improved. His true nature is starting to show, so I might need to give him another warning soon.

「Oh my, you’re quite the talker. But Fuyumi-san… your wife is also…」

「No, no, no, that’s way too much of a stretch. Compared to you, my wife is like heaven and earth, the moon and a tur… owowowowow!!」

Without a word, my Mom pinched my Father’s cheek and twisted it with a force that showed zero mercy.

That looks painful, really painful!!

But besides that…

「Owowowowow!!」

Why am I being pinched too!?

Did my inner thoughts leak out!?

「For you, it’s just because.」

「How cruel!?」

It’s been a while since I’ve been subjected to domestic violence along with my Father for an unproven crime(?). But as for this time, I can’t say I’m entirely innocent… after all, Mayumi-san is the ideal mother for any man in the world!? Comparing my Mom to her is just impossible…

「Hmph!!」

「Adu-du-du-du!! S-Sowy-f-foo-it!!」

「As long as you understand.」

Ugh… I thought my cheek was going to be torn off.

If that happened, I wouldn’t be able to get my reward from Sara-san, and that would be a matter of life and death!!

「Hahaha」

「Ufufufu…」

Witnessing the comedy routine our family was putting on, Masaomi-san and Mayumi-san let out very happy laughs.

I’m glad you enjoyed the farce, but the fact remains that you saw our whole family in an embarrassing moment… so if possible, could we just act like that didn’t happen?

「Ah!? S-Sorry, I just…」

「Hey, alright, just let go of me already!!」

「Oh, I forgot!!」

Whether it was true or not, my Mom finally let go of my Father’s cheek. My Father’s pinched area was bright red… but unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be any further damage. Tsk.

「Man… you really are a close-knit family, it’s enviable.」

「Truly. Hey, Kazunari-kun. You can feel free to be even more relaxed with us too, you know? Please don’t ever hold back, okay?」

「Ugh!? N-No, it’s not like I’m holding back…」

「Well, I suppose part of it is getting used to it, and you can’t beat the casualness of actual parents and children. But for us, the ideal is indeed to be able to work together without reservation like this.」

「Masaomi-san…」

To be honest, I can understand what the two of them are looking for from me. But it’s not that I want to hold back pointlessly with Masaomi-san and the others; it’s just that the current state of being「another family」is comfortable for me… and I truly love the peaceful, gentle atmosphere and time at the Satsukawa house.

So for me, I hope to continue deepening my relationship with Masaomi-san and the others slowly as a real family, while keeping things as they are.

「Hehe… so that’s how it is. Yes, I understand. Then, Kazunari-kun, let’s become closer and closer, okay?」

「Mayumi-san…」

Mayumi-san, who had been staring into my eyes, suddenly said that… but it wasn’t her usual「teasing tone.」It was a sincere statement… as if she had said it after reading my feelings… no, she definitely did.

After all, it’s Mayumi-san.

「…Why is this guy so well-liked? And that beautiful wife seems really obsessed with him…」

「What is it, Father? Do you still have something to say?」

「Shut up!!」

「Sigh…」

「Honestly…」

I couldn’t help but let out a sigh along with my Mom at my Father, who was throwing another childish tantrum.

Why is this man such a pain? I really want him to take a leaf out of Masaomi-san’s book… seriously.

「Well… we got a bit off track, but first I’d like to give a brief self-introduction.」

「Yes. We are the ones who caused a stir…」

「No, to be honest, it’s been a help, so please feel at ease.」

「Thank you. To be honest, there are many things over here that we don’t know how to handle.」

「Haha, that goes for both of us.」

「I’m humbled.」

A light exchange of jabs… or rather, harmless greetings… between my Father and Masaomi-san began, and the family meeting opened with a safe start.

But… well… how do I put this…

Who is that guy!?

To think that flaky Father of mine could show such a perfectly normal response is nothing but a surprise, frankly speaking!?

「That’s rare…」

As expected, my Mom couldn’t hide her surprise either… she was staring at my Father with wide eyes.

I hope a natural disaster doesn’t happen after this?

「But before that…」

「First, we would like our daughter to greet you both. Sara-chan, please come in.」

「Yes.」

When Mayumi-san called toward the entrance of the room, the voice that came back from beyond the sliding doors was the beloved voice of my favorite person, one I could never mistake.

Even through the doors, that dignified, clear, and beautiful voice like a ringing bell made my Father and Mom… especially my Father… show a restless behavior, a mix of tension and curiosity.

「My apologies for the wait.」

While everyone’s attention was focused on a single point, the door slid open quietly… and standing there was my very own goddess, Sara-san, staring straight ahead and wrapped in a beauty that made me lose my breath.

「Sara-chan, please greet Kazunari-kun’s parents.」

「Yes.」

Sara-san stood up with a fluid motion and began to walk slowly with a soft, gentle smile. Her bearing was full of grace, almost divine, and I wasn’t the only one captivated.

My Father especially had his eyes open wider than I’d ever seen, his mouth hanging open in a giant gap… just staring at Sara-san with a look of pure astonishment.

But seeing Sara-san for the first time, and in a kimono at that, I guess it’s only natural for him to end up like that…

I mean…

It was the same with the yukata, but Sara-san in traditional Japanese clothes has so much destructive power it’s beyond a joke!!

「…Huh? …Wh-?」

「Father, what’s wrong?」

「Wha, h-hold… wait…」

「What is it?」

「Y-You, th-th-this… n-no way, right? You’re joking, aren’t you?」

「About what?」

「Wha, n-not ‘about what’!!?? You…」

I knew perfectly well what my Father was surprised about, but I chose to play dumb anyway.

Because seeing my Father panic in such a stupid… or rather, comedic way was just too funny, honestly.

「It is a pleasure to meet you for the first time, Father-in-law. I am Sara, the eldest daughter of the Satsukawa family.」

「Whaaaaaaa!? W-W-Well now, thank you for the polite greeting!!」

Faced with Sara-san kneeling and bowing with her fingers on the floor, my Father hurriedly corrected his posture.

My Mom let out an unreserved giggle at his fumbling, comedy-like movements… well, I could understand her feelings.

「I am very happy to have the chance to greet my Father-in-law and Mother-in-law like this. I am still inexperienced, but I look forward to your kind regards from now on.」

After saying that much, Sara-san bowed deeply once more… and as if drawn in, my Father and Mom bowed deeply as well.

As expected of Sara-san. Truly, no matter what she does, she’s refined. Her movements are so beautiful it’s captivating.

「N-No, well… how do I put it.」

「Hehe… is something the matter, Father-in-law?」

「No, r-really, th-this… please don’t take this the wrong way, but is someone like you really with our stup… I mean, Father-in-law?」

「Yes. Since you are Kazunari-san’s Father, that means you are also my Father-in-law.」

「Ah, I see!! Certainly, a father is a father, and Father-in-law is a father, so Father-in-law is my father…」

「………」

「F-FATHER-IN-LAAAAAW!!!!?」

At Sara-san’s casual explanation, my Father let out a giant shout the likes of which I, his actual son, had never heard before.

But in that expression, amidst the intense surprise, there was blatant joy… honestly, I felt like there was a smirk mixed in.

What is this feeling in my chest…

Honestly, I’m just pissed off!?

「Agh, don’t get so excited, it’s embarrassing!! I knew this would happen, which is why I was worried about letting you meet Sara-chan.」

「You idiot!! I-I mean, I didn’t hear that the other person was such a super beauty in the first place!?」

「I told you plenty of times!! You just didn’t believe me at all.」

「Well, I mean, it’s Kazunari we’re talking about!? It shouldn’t be possible!! How could my son get someone like…」

「Aaaaah, it’s embarrassing, so please just stop already, Father!!」

Sara-san was giggling and watching us happily, but I was honestly on edge. There was an overwhelming feeling that if I let my guard down for even a second, my Father would say something rude, and it made me nervous that he kept mentioning Sara-san’s appearance upon meeting her for the first time.

So far, Sara-san didn’t seem to have taken offense, but…

「I’m sorry Sara-chan, our idiot is just noisy… and, it’s been a while. You’ve become even more beautiful in the short time since I last saw you…」

「Hehe… thank you, Mother-in-law. I’m glad to see you’re as energetic as ever.」

「Well, that’s about all I’ve got going for me.」

「Please don’t say that. I truly respect you from the bottom of my heart, Mother-in-law.」

「Aaaaah, honestly, why are you such a good girl!! Really, Sara-chan…」

「Hehe… that tickles, Mother-in-law.」

As if she couldn’t take it anymore, my Mom pulled Sara-san into a tight hug. Sara-san looked happy and silently accepted my Mom’s actions… while my Father watched enviously, I made sure to glare at him.

My Mom is one thing since she’s the same sex, but I will absolutely not forgive my Father!!

「Wha, h-hey now, why are you two so close!!??」

「What’s wrong with it? Sara-chan is my daughter too, after all.」

「Wh-That’s cheating!!! If you’re going to say that, then I am too!!」

「Hehe… of course, I respect my Father-in-law as well, you know?」

「GUOOOOOH!! FATHER-IN-LAAAAAW!!!!」

「Shut up, Father!!」

My Father, who has been getting angry, happy, and noisy, being emotionally unstable, is twenty percent… no, fifty percent more annoying than usual!!

For now, Sara-san and Masaomi-san and the others are laughing… but I’m far too worried that my Father is going to say something unnecessary after this.

I wonder if this will be okay… seriously.