Episode 332: The Idol Known as Lonely

「Fufufu… well, well, my apologies. I was so shocked I couldn’t help but… I am sorry for showing such an unseemly side of myself.」

「I don’t particularly mind. There is no end to it if I worry about every little thing that doesn’t matter.」

「You only have the luxury to keep running your mouth like that for now. The Student Council President, who should be a model for the students, living with a boy of all things… I believe this is a matter where not just suspension, but potentially even expulsion could be considered, don’t you think?」

「Generally speaking, perhaps that is true?」

「Yes. You cannot possibly think you’ll get away with this after causing such a scandalous outrage, can you? Oh, of course, that includes the Vice President, Taka…」

「Be quiet. I will not allow you to speak Kazunari-san’s name so casually.」

「…Hah?」

For the first time, a clear shade of anger seeped into Sara-san, who had seemed completely unfazed until now.

Normally, she would never do something like get angry just because someone called my name…

「I believe I have said this before. I will never forgive anyone who directs malice toward my precious Kazunari-san, no matter who they are.」

「…uh!?」

「To do so right in front of me… you have quite some nerve, don’t you?」

Suddenly, Sara-san’s cold eyes, baring her hostility, pierced the stuck-up woman. As if overwhelmed by that terrifying intensity, the stuck-up woman took a small step back.

In the first place, those two are in completely different leagues, so it’s only natural that things would turn out like this if they clashed.

「Tsk… anyway!! I shall personally demand the school take strict disciplinary action regarding this scandal!! But more importantly… fufu, take a look. It seems there are others who have something to talk to you about as well?」

「Others?」

While wearing a creepy smile, the stuck-up woman slowly pointed toward the side of the stage. There, without me noticing, were a man… no, a group of men.

Roughly ten of them had gathered, and they all wore expressions of anger or impatience.

What now?

「S-Satsukawa-san!! I heard you’ve been living with the Vice President for quite a while now… is that really true!?」

「When I confessed to you, you never said you had a lover, did you!? That’s why I didn’t give up… I told you I’d confess again someday, didn’t I!?」

「Me too!! I know I’m being a nuisance, but I still couldn’t give up!!」

Judging from the conversation, these guys were a collection of people Sara-san had rejected in the past.

And they were saying such incredibly selfish things that it made my blood boil just listening to them.

「Yikes… that crowd again.」

「Natsumi-senpai, do you know something?」

「Well, yeah. But if I explain this, Sara will probably get mad at me… hmmm…」

「Probably, the ‘bill’ for the Wife’s half-hearted rejections has finally come due.」

「Hanako-san?」

Half-hearted rejections?

But Sara-san was supposed to have rejected confessions from guys by clearly stating they were a nuisance.

And given Sara-san’s personality, I could only imagine her rejecting people so flatly that they’d have no opening to argue. I didn’t think there was any room for things to be half-hearted.

「First, the Wife doesn’t care about any man other than Kazunari. This is an unshakeable premise.」

「W-well, I guess so.」

「Meaning, she doesn’t care about the people who confessed to her either. She thinks even talking to them is a chore. So the Wife simply tells them they’re a ‘nuisance.’ Because she doesn’t want to deal with them in the first place.」

「Ah…」

「If the Wife had rejected them by explaining things while taking Kazunari into account, they would have probably given up properly. Usually, people don’t chase after someone who has a lover, and if they’re even engaged, it’s only natural to give up.」

「I see! Satsukawa-senpai just wanted to get it over with because it’s a hassle, but that left people who couldn’t be satisfied and wouldn’t give up, right?」

「Probably.」

I see… that was definitely a possibility.

And I suppose personal feelings like「I don’t want to give up」or「I can’t give up」aren’t something others can control…

If that’s the case, maybe it’s not strange that there are proactive people who couldn’t give up just by being told they were a「nuisance」and were looking for another way to try again.

「Haa… Hanako-san is sharp as ever. But I guess Sara won’t get mad at me if it’s put that way?」

「It’s not really a big deal.」

「Seems that way… you hit the nail on the head. Sara was cornered with a similar development before.」

「…I knew it.」

「Yeah. It was a guy from our class. Even though she’d rejected him once, Sara’s way of doing it was so bad he was looking for a second chance. But Sara made him give up completely by using Takanashi-kun’s name, you know? Well, along with all the other guys too.」

「………」

I see… Sara-san really did use my name.

I’d told her before to use my name if anything happened, and it makes me happy to know that it actually had some effect.

At the very least, I was able to serve as a sort of bug repellent.

「Fufu… Sara reported it to me looking so happy, saying Takanashi-kun told her to use his name.」

「I-is that so?」

「Yeah. Also, this is just my guess, but… maybe Sara was subconsciously avoiding using Takanashi-kun’s name? Like, maybe she was afraid of causing you trouble, or was scared of the possibility that Takanashi-kun would ‘think’ she was a nuisance even a little bit… so I think she felt relieved once Takanashi-kun actually told her to do it.」

「…That makes sense. If it’s Sara-san.」

Because Sara-san hates nothing more than causing me trouble, it might be natural for her to avoid it, whether intentionally or subconsciously.

And if I were in her shoes, I probably would have thought the same way.

「Well, I think it’s also a fact that she just found it annoying! But it’s true that she successfully dealt the finishing blow this time thanks to using Takanashi-kun’s name…」

「Yeah. Meaning, if I do a public proposal and Sara-san accepts… we might be able to put an end to all those guys at once, right?」

「Yeah. As long as they aren’t incredibly persistent, it should work, right?」

「Yes!」

Even if it was a coincidence, I was honestly grateful to hear this before the big moment.

I could now be certain that this plan would be effective.

Alright…

「It’s okay. There’s no way the Wife would just accept Kazunari’s proposal quietly.」

「Right! She’ll probably pull all sorts of stunts, and maybe that’ll be the real finishing blow!?」

「Yoko!!」

「…Haha.」

Yuji and Hayato had told me the same thing earlier, but since I’d already factored that in, it wasn’t a problem. If it’s something Sara-san does, I’m prepared to accept all of it with joy.

「So, what’s the plan, Kazunari?」

「Are you going in now?」

「Let’s see, I should cut in here…」

「Please wait a moment.」

「Nishikawa-san?」

「I understand how you feel, but Sara reaped what she sowed here. Let her handle it on her own, shall we?」

「Even Natsumi-senpai…」

「To avoid leaving any unnecessary grudges, the Wife should settle this by herself. Kazunari’s turn comes after.」

「Hanako-san…」

What should I do… I can understand what Hanako-san and the others are saying, and thinking about it calmly, I can think of other reasons too.

But seeing Sara-san being confronted like that and just standing here watching…

But…

I…

「…Understood.」

「Kazunari, are you sure?」

「Even if you jumped in now, I don’t think it would be a mistake, you know?」

「Yuji, don’t say unnecessary things.」

「No, but…」

「Haa… I guess it’s still impossible for Yuji to reach Takanashi-kun’s level.」

「Hah?」

Suddenly, Natsumi-senpai let out a massive sigh, and Yuji looked bewildered.

That said, I wasn’t really sure why I was being used as a comparison either…

「Listen… Takanashi-kun trusts Sara completely, you know?」

「I mean, I know that.」

「That’s not it. Kazunari believes that even alone, the Wife can navigate this situation.」

「It’s easy to just jump in on impulse here. But while that might look like worrying about the other person, in reality, it is just acting on your own anxiety… This situation should be left to Sara, and the fact that Takanashi-san can judge that calmly is because of how much he trusts her.」

「…That’s a bit of an exaggeration, though.」

I see, so that’s what it meant… of course it goes without saying that I trust Sara-san, but that wasn’t the only reason for this decision.

I felt that if I barged onto the stage now, it might actually make things more complicated… even if the backlash against me was nothing major, the real problem was the risk of Sara-san (and probably Hanako-san) exploding as a result.

Hanako-san and the others probably said I should leave it to Sara-san because they’d thought that far ahead.

「It’s okay. I’ll leave this to Sara-san.」

「I see…」

「Think calmly in times like this, and when it’s time to make your move, do it without hesitation. Got it, Yuji?」

「Yeah, yeah, I get it…」

「No, really, it’s not that big a deal.」

To begin with, Sara-san doesn’t need any help dealing with guys like that. Because I know that, I judged it would be fine to leave this to her.

So this is just a natural thing, and it’s not about trusting or not trusting or anything grand like that.

「Before we talk about that, let me apologize for one thing. I did not anticipate that my casual response would lead to such half-hearted expectations. This is something I should reflect on, and I understand it clearly now.」

「…Where in that speech did she apologize?」

「Hanako-san, shhh…」

「I’m just surprised that the Sara we know even felt like apologizing.」

「Um… Sara-san apologizes normally, you know.」

No matter how much Sara-san hates guys, she’ll apologize honestly for her own mistakes and give proper thanks.

But this matter is something Sara-san hates most, and it’s something she usually would’ve just eliminated without a second thought… so Sara-san’s change might be even bigger than I thought.

「However, the fact that I said I have no interest, and the fact that I said it was a nuisance, were by no means incorrect, you know? I have a precious person named Kazunari-san whom I have decided on in my heart, and I do not care about other men. That is why the act of being confessed to itself is truly nothing but a nuisance.」

「Gugh…」

「This is rough… too rough.」

「No, it’s even rougher this time because she actually put a name to it…」

「Kazunari-san… she’s calling him by his first name…」

「Damn it, if it were any other guy I’d have a chance, but…!!!」

「…She said she doesn’t care…」

「…Wait, did she really have to go that far!?」

「Are you satisfied now? If so, please return to your seats…」

「Oh my, you certainly have quite the personality, don’t you? According to what I heard, the reason you don’t let others near you is because you are strict with both yourself and others?」

「…What are you trying to say?」

Just as the conversation had settled down, the stuck-up woman cut in once again.

She still wore that creepy smile, and her arrogant way of speaking was getting on my nerves more than usual.

And that meaningful way of talking… is there something else?

「I suspect… is this your true nature?」

「True nature?」

「Yes. While preaching convenient pretenses like being ‘lonely,’ in reality, you just don’t want to interact with anyone except the boy you like. You aren’t strict with others, you’re just harsh because you hate them. And that applies not just to men, but to your own sex as well… in my opinion, that isn’t being aloof, it’s just being socially inept, isn’t it?」

「…………」

「Hmph, since you aren’t arguing back at all, I’ll take that as hitting the nail right on the head, shall I? I see, I see… so your ‘aloofness’ was just a cloak to hide your twisted personality. You certainly played that well, didn’t you?」

What is with her!!

She’s just spouting total nonsense with exaggerated language as if it were fact!!

To begin with, the title of「Lonely」was something created by others, and Sara-san had nothing to do with it. This is a complete false accusation!!

「Wh-wh-what is with that girl!!!! She’s so annoying!!!」

「Terrible… how can she say something like that…」

「She’s finally baring her true self. Calling someone’s personality twisted is one hell of a boomerang!!」

「I see… so you’re completely ignoring my warning? You’ve got guts…」

With Sara-san being mocked like this, there was no way I or any of the others could keep our anger in check.

Among us, Nishikawa-san was showing the most intense rage. While her tone was quiet, she was projecting a visibly dangerous atmosphere. I hadn’t seen her like this since the incident with Yamazaki.

「Hiding your true self with a nice-sounding title while simultaneously gathering popularity… how black-hearted. Was the reason you hid your lover’s existence because you didn’t want to lose popularity? And the second it was discovered, you scrambled to cover up the reason you hid it, desperate to maintain your reputation… haa… what a truly unpleasant personality. As someone in a certain position, I have met many people… but I have never seen someone like you. Oh, how about you guys over there? This is the true face of the woman being grandly praised as the Lonely Godde…」

「Is that all you have to say?」

「Huh!?」

At Sara-san’s cold voice, which showed no sign of being shaken, the stuck-up woman shut her mouth once again. She stood there gaping, trying to shout something that wouldn’t come out… and her face twisted in frustration.

That was close, though. If Sara-san hadn’t spoken up, I might have jumped out there.

「This is a perfect opportunity. I have left things be because it was a hassle, but I shall speak about that matter as well.」

「H-hmph!! No matter what you say now, the facts won’t change, you know? Your true nature is one thing, but for a woman living with a boy to even enter this Miss Contest in the first place…」

「I do not know what you are misunderstanding, but I have never once considered wanting to enter a Miss Contest, you know?」

「Hah? Trying to set up a defense like that now…」

「It is a fact. The only reason I am here is out of my duty as the Student Council President, and I have zero interest in a Miss Contest. Stop spouting your childish delusions.」

「Ch-childish delusions!?」

「To begin with, why should I be evaluated by complete strangers I have no connection to? Academic grades are one thing, but the only person who is allowed to decide my personal value is Kazunari-san. The evaluations of the masses hold no value to me. And yet you think I am interested in a Miss Contest? It is so ridiculous it is not even funny as a joke.」

「Wh… what are you…」

「Can you not even understand a simple talk like this? Well, you seem to have an extraordinary amount of enthusiasm for the Miss Contest, and I have no intention of denying that. So please, ignore me and keep working hard toward your victory, okay?」

「Don’t… don’t talk nonsense…」

「 I am not talking nonsense. It is just that I am neither free nor eccentric enough to entertain your worthless delusions. More importantly, I am tired of listening to you, so please shut that mouth which is lighter than air. You are in the way of the conversation.」

「In… in the wayyyyyyyyy!?」

With that, Sara-san looked away from the stuck-up woman as if she were finished with her, and faced the audience directly.

She stood with her back straight, just as she did when giving a speech as the Student Council President, and her expression and atmosphere were those of that dignified… truly cool Sara-san.

But she said she was going to talk, just what did she plan to say…

「I was a bit troubled about where to start the explanation… but let us talk about the matter that was just pointed out. First, regarding the title of ‘Lonely’… though I have never used it myself… it was something that people around me started using without my knowledge around the time I first became the Vice President. There should be people here who know about that time, so if you look, you might find the origin. But as she said, it is a fact that I utilized it. I am not aloof or anything of the sort, I simply did not want to interact with others…」

Immediately after the statement「I did not want to interact with others,」voices of surprise and confusion rose from the stands. But I was just as surprised… though for a different reason… because I never would have thought Sara-san would start talking about this.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing itself, but what on earth was Sara-san thinking, suddenly bringing this up…?

「I shall omit the details… but I have faced many hardships since I was young because of my appearance. Jealousy and envy from my own sex, and all sorts of other things. I was constantly exposed to curious stares from men, and at times, forced affection and selfish self-assertion… there is no end to the list. Many things happened with both men and women… and thanks to that, I became completely distrustful of people.」

While giving a slightly self-deprecating laugh, Sara-san calmly spoke of her past experiences. But this kind of struggle is something only someone who has actually experienced it can understand. Especially for women, the overwhelming majority would probably think it’s enviable to be a popular beauty.

「After continuing to have those experiences, I eventually started to find interacting with people a burden. But strangely enough, when I tried to reject the interference of others, people would appear to criticize that and interfere even more. That was mainly from my own sex… so I decided to take the measure of making those around me recognize my power, partly to shut those people up. If I could make them think, ‘If it’s that person, it can’t be helped,’ or ‘That person is fine on her own,’ then I could act alone without receiving unnecessary interference. It was right then that I was invited by the Student Council, and I decided to accept it partly for calculated reasons. Honestly, that was a major reason why I later accepted the role of Vice President as well.」

To think Sara-san would go this far with her story…

If she had no interest in others, there was no need to speak her true heart at all. And yet, I really didn’t know why Sara-san had decided to share so much.

Plus, with this flow, I couldn’t find a timing to jump in at all… for now, I just had to watch.

「So, if I were to affirm what she said earlier, it would be that I utilized the title of ‘Lonely’ to hide my true feelings… I suppose? Even if it was an idolized image created by those around me, it is a fact that it served as a justification for rejecting the interference of others. Though… I never imagined that unnecessary labels like ‘Goddess’ would be added and that I would be treated like an idol. That alone was completely outside my predictions.」

Watching Sara-san talk self-deprecatingly made me feel a sense of sadness too. Calling it「utilizing」sounds bad, but thinking of the loneliness Sara-san carried behind it…

My causes and situation were different, but at least I had Yuji. Just having one trustworthy best friend allowed me to hold my ground at the very end. Even if it was just out of pride, I was able to stand firm without running away.

But Sara-san couldn’t trust anyone and had been alone for a long time…

「Do you understand now? This is the real me. People use grand words like ‘lonely,’ but my true feelings were just that I wanted to avoid interacting with others as much as possible. I am a person lacking in social skills. And as for why I am telling you this, there are two reasons. First… this is late now, and it is something I regret, but… please stop forcing your selfish ideals onto me. Do not layer your convenient ideals over me. It is extremely annoying to have people hold dreams for me under the name of delusions.」

At Sara-san’s true feelings finally being spoken, a massive murmur broke out in the audience.

The source was likely the students of this school… most of the people here had probably layered some kind of ideal image onto Sara-san, so I wonder what they thought after hearing the truth.

「And the second reason is similar to before. Until now, I have only answered ‘nuisance’ to confessions from men, but I have finally realized there was a possibility that wouldn’t be enough to satisfy them. I believe there were issues on my side as well, so I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for that. Even if it seemed like nothing more than shallow nonsense to me, it might have been serious for the person involved… and it is also a fact that my reason for rejecting confessions has changed over the past six months, after all.」

Sara-san used the word「apology」again. And to do it toward a group she even felt disgust for, even if it was just for appearances, to speak in a way that considered their feelings… when you consider how she used to just reject them without question and act like she didn’t know them, this was truly incredible.

「Sara…」

「This is… honestly surprising.」

Naturally, the two who had known Sara-san longer than I had seemed unable to hide their surprise at this change…

But that meant…

「Mayumi-san…」

If those with a long history were surprised, then the person who was undoubtedly more shocked than anyone else here… Mayumi-san was staring at Sara-san in a daze, with an expression I’d never seen before.

Her eyes were wide and her mouth half-open as she stared intently at Sara-san without moving a muscle.

She must be even more surprised than us, so this reaction was only natural.

「He-hey, Satsukawa-san?」

「Yes.」

「I, I get what you’re saying. It’s true that I… we, might have been forcing our ideals on you, and I never imagined we were being that disliked.」

「By the way, that part about the reason changing, does that mean…」

「Yes. Before it was simply a nuisance, but now I have a precious person whom I have decided on in my heart.」

Sara-san stared straight this way from the stage, wearing a soft smile. A gentle smile that made me feel happy just by looking at it, and I found myself unable to look away…

「DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So it really is the Vice President!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!」

「Then that talk about your type during the questions earlier was actually about the Vice President too!!??」

「Yes, that is correct.」

「There’s no way that’s true!!?? He’s a guy too, so he definitely only got close to you because he liked your looks or something!!!!」

「Right!!?? A story like that is absolutely impossible!!!!」

「Exactly!!! He’s just the same as us in the end…」

「Do not make me laugh. I will not forgive you for grouping Kazunari-san with yourselves, even as a joke.」

「No, no, for a guy to get close to a girl without any affection or ulterior motives, that’s just impossi…」

「It is not that Kazunari-san approached me. If anything, I was the one who approached him. Moreover, I have experience being rejected by Kazunari-san… and yet you call it ulterior motives?」

「「「 …Hah? 」」」

「When I remember this, even now I cannot help but feel anger toward myself… but back then, my feelings of consideration for others were thin, and although it was unintentional, I hurt Kazunari-san’s heart. As a result, I have experience being rejected by Kazunari-san… or to put it bluntly, being hated and avoided.」

「「 Eh!? 」」

「「 WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!? 」」

The biggest sounds of shock came from my surroundings… from my best friends.

Since I’d never told this story before, everyone except Yuji and Natsumi-senpai who knew the truth back then must have been hearing it for the first time, so it was only natural. But Hanako-san didn’t look surprised at all, did she already know?

「No… well…」

「Th-that can’t be true… hating and avoiding Satsukawa-san…」

「I mean, the fact that he could communicate with Satsukawa-san that much in the first place is way too enviable!!」

「However, despite that situation… Kazunari-san rushed to my side for my sake. And for the sake of me, who was completely ignorant of male-female relationships, Kazunari-san wished for the position of a friend, a best friend. Even though he was the man closest to me, Kazunari-san prioritized my feelings… and wished purely for the existence I was looking for. Truly… my stupid self didn’t even know that, and in my joy, I was just leaning on Kazunari-san’s kindness… This is something I only found out later when I happened to hear Kazunari-san’s feelings behind the scenes… if not for that, Kazunari-san intended to keep supporting me in silence forever. It is because of such a kind-hearted Kazunari-san that I learned the feeling of love for the first time in my life.」

At that time, I truly believed in my heart that it was enough to just be whatever existence Sara-san wanted.

If Sara-san wanted a best friend, I would stay as that forever. As her benefactor and for the sake of the precious Sara-san, I would continue to be whatever she needed… I had meant it from the bottom of my heart.

Thinking about it now, I feel like my feelings for Sara-san back then transcended the typical boundaries of a man and woman.

Because to me, Sara-san was truly「more precious than anything else.」

「Do you understand? Kazunari-san did not choose me for my appearance. He looked at me as ‘a single human being’ and chose me. And he would never one-sidedly force his feelings on me like you do. He is a kind person who thinks carefully about my feelings. He is a man more wonderful than anyone, who accepts me as a whole and loves me from the bottom of his heart. Do not group such a Kazunari-san… my precious, more beloved than anyone Kazunari-san… with shallow people like yourselves!!!!!!」

「「Ugh!?」」

Sara-san’s anger… it came through painfully clearly.

The person she treasures most was thought of and treated like the people she even felt disgust for. Just how big of an insult that was, and how unforgivable.

But separate from that, I was just happy for Sara-san’s feelings… Sara-san understands my true heart perfectly. She knows.

That makes me happier than anything…

「I suppose you wouldn’t understand, would you? The childishness of deciding that because you are that way, others must be as well, and one-sidedly forcing that assumption onto them. Saying you understand with your mouth while in the end understanding nothing at all, not comprehending anything, and not even trying to comprehend in the first place. That is why I say interacting with people like you is a hassle and a waste of time!!」

「Ah… u…」

「Th-that’s…」

「u…」

「No matter how much you lack comprehension, did you finally understand after being told this much!? I am saying that you ‘yourselves’ are a nuisance!?」

After being told all that by Sara-san, there was no way they could argue back any further. Plus, they probably realized that stubbornly sticking around would only make their positions worse…

「Please do not make me waste any more time. You understand the meaning of my words, do you not?」

They all gave a small nod as if they were slumping their heads… and then they all left for somewhere without returning to their seats.

After being told such harsh things by the person they’d supposedly had feelings for, there was no way they weren’t in shock…

But this was all their own fault. It was the result of their own actions, and there was no room for sympathy.

「Looks like it’s over.」

「Yeah. But it looks like they aren’t the only ones who are finished.」

「The final blow is Kazunari’s job.」

「Takanashi-san, the rest is…」

「Yeah, I’ll take it from here.」

Sara-san had declared her feelings for me so clearly.

So it’s my turn next. Being exposed for living together was a surprise, but we have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

So, I’ll hold my head high…