LMLCG – Episode 12 – Consultation

Even though it was finally the weekend, I didn’t feel like doing anything.

Still, I had made plans with Yuuji…

Last night, I got the usual message from Yuuji (who I consider my best friend), but I ended up responding curtly.

Worried by that, Yuuji invited me out to the arcade.

As soon as we met up in front of the station, the first thing out of his mouth was,

“You look seriously pissed off.”

The way he said it, with a troubled, hard-to-describe expression, left an impression on me.

We were supposed to hang out at the arcade, but I just wasn’t feeling up to it, so we ended up talking at a family restaurant instead.

Since we always kept each other updated, I didn’t have to go through the trouble of explaining everything from scratch.

And naturally, the topic shifted to what happened yesterday.

“Well… yeah, I guess it hits harder when it’s someone you’ve had at least a bit of connection with… treating you the same as those other idiots.”

“I was just deluding myself into thinking I’d managed to connect with her more than the others…”

“Hm. I don’t know this girl, so I can’t really say, but… Was she really acting like that?”

“That’s how it felt to me.”

“I see… (He’s still a bit paranoid because of what happened in middle school… Maybe he’s just jumping to conclusions.)”

Yuuji looked deep in thought for a second, then returned to his usual expression.

“Well, you might figure it out next time you see her. Could just be a misunderstanding.”

That might be true, but… the way Senpai looked at me yesterday terrified me.

It felt like she was implying that I was just like those idiots.

I thought she trusted me, even a little, but if I saw that look in her eyes again, I didn’t think I could handle it.

I had no desire to see Senpai again.

“So, what happened?”

Natsumi asked me directly.

“I mean… the thing from yesterday.”

I went over the same story I had briefly shared with her over the phone last night.

“If I’m not mistaken… I may have hurt Takanashi-san.”

After everything yesterday, I couldn’t get Takanashi-san’s expression out of my head.

When I think that I might have been the cause of that expression… It’s the first time I’d ever felt like this.

Did I… do something wrong?

That final expression he made… What did it mean?

“Hmm, I meant to ask this yesterday too, but… first of all, who even is this Takanashi-san?”

I realized I had never actually told Natsumi about Takanashi-san.

Now that I think about it, the only person I had ever spoken to about him was my grandmother…

“Ah! Sorry. Takanashi-san is…”

I explained about the flower bed, and about the time with my grandmother.

There was more, but for now, a simple explanation would do.

“Heh… for a high school boy these days… geez, I sound like an old lady.”

“I think Takanashi-san is different from other boys.”

“I see… So, what exactly happened yesterday?”

I explained everything that had occurred on the landing of the stairs.

That I wasn’t there from the beginning and couldn’t judge who was at fault.

That I treated both sides equally to remain fair.

That since the two boys spoke first, I had no choice but to question Takanashi-san next.

“So basically, you treated him like any of the other boys, right?”

“Yes.”

I see… She did that.

I’d seen how Sara normally acted on a daily basis.

Cold to boys, detached with girls… That’s the usual Sara.

I knew that once you got through that barrier, she could be normal and kind.

But if for example…

“What if someone wasn’t sure if you were really friends yet, and you acted like that?”

There was probably more to it than that, but I could start to understand how this Takanashi-san felt.

Still… This girl, who’s normally so indifferent to others, is showing this much concern about someone, especially a boy…

“Well… I’ll start by saying your response wasn’t necessarily wrong. I get the fairness part, and even if you believe in someone, you can’t just assume without proof.”

“Yes.”

It seemed like she accepted that her actions weren’t mistaken.

“But,” she continued,

“I don’t know how aware you are, but… the way you usually treat guys? You don’t even try to hide the fact that you dislike them. And when it’s really bad, your attitude basically screams that they’re not even worth dealing with.”

It’s true, I’d always felt that way about boys.

Thinking they were clueless anyway, I made it clear through both my words and actions.

“And honestly, it’s gotten worse in the past year. I’m surprised you haven’t made any enemies.”

This past year…

Probably because of all those shallow confessions that only worsened my impression of boys.

“And look, I don’t know what this Takanashi-san was thinking, but… if he thought you two had at least built a bit of a connection, and then you suddenly treat him like all the other stupid boys, wouldn’t he think, So in the end, she sees me the same as the rest. She never trusted me at all?”

“That’s not true… I really do think Takanashi-san is different…”

“Yeah, and I’m sure you mean that. But he doesn’t know that. You’ve never actually told him that, right?”

“…No… I haven’t…”

“Do you have Takanashi-san’s contact info?”

“Yes, we exchanged contacts before.”

Natsumi looked a bit surprised.

“Huh… You, exchanging numbers with a boy, huh? Well, whatever. Did you contact him right afterwards? or that evening?”

“No, I mean… I didn’t know what I did wrong, so I didn’t know what to say…”

When I answered honestly, Natsumi’s expression turned a little complicated.

“Hmm… Things might’ve turned out differently if you’d followed up right then…”

It seemed I had missed my chance to make things right…