LMLCG – Episode 17 – True Feelings

Up until this point, Senpai hadn’t said a single word.

She’s still holding the hem of my blazer and kept looking at me…

Her expression remains blank…

Because my mind had been occupied with everything else, I hadn’t given it much thought.

No, I’m an idiot…

I only just realized that Senpai’s hand, the one gripping my jacket, was trembling.

Of course it was.

There’s no woman who wouldn’t be scared if something like this happened to her.

I regretted letting go of her earlier when I told her it was okay.

But now it felt awkward to just take her hand again out of nowhere.

After a bit of hesitation, I gently took her trembling hand and held it firmly.

“Ah…”

I looked Senpai in the eyes, to show her that everything was okay now.

When she met my gaze, it felt like she was calming down a little.

Then, slowly, she tightened her grip in return.

I responded with a firmer hold, trying to reassure her even more.

“Now then, all of you, come to the student council room. I want you all to each sign a pledge. These are binding. If any of your friends leak this incident, you’ll still be held responsible, so be prepared.”

The student council president continued speaking.

That whole bit about the “binding pledge” was probably intentional.

Not that these idiots would think to question it. They were too dumb for that.

In the end, I’d left the situation in the president’s hands. I couldn’t have decided the best course of action anyway. This was something beyond me. The most important thing now was what came next for Senpai.

A few more student council members showed up at the rooftop entrance. Like some kind of perp walk, the guys were led away, one after another.

Now it was just me, Senpai, and her friend.

“Well, I’ll go with them for supervision. We can talk more later.”

She turned to Senpai.

“Sara, make sure to have a proper conversation, okay?”

“Yes…”

Hearing that, she looked back at me.

“Takanashi-kun, I’m leaving the rest to you… and also the follow up.”

“Got it.”

With that, she left the rooftop.

I finally calmed down and reflected on what had happened.

To be honest, I had my own issues to face.

I’d been avoiding Senpai, and there was an awkwardness to that.

This time, I just moved on impulse, but that didn’t mean the awkwardness had vanished.

No, come on.

From the beginning, Senpai had been treating me differently from the others.

Even that time when she said she couldn’t show favoritism, looking back, it sounded more like an obligatory explanation for her position. If that’s the case, maybe her real feelings were different.

That would mean… I jumped to conclusions. Got all sulky for nothing.

So part of what caused this whole mess was…

For the first time in several days, I felt calm enough to think clearly, and all sorts of things were coming to mind.

I was spiraling again, in a different way.

Now I felt like I had no right to face her again, just for a different reason.

But even so, I don’t have the option to leave Senpai alone.

The trembling in her hands had calmed down a bit..

“Senpai, are you okay?”

Considering all she’d been through, I decided to discard my shallow thoughts like “I can’t face her” and make up my mind.

“…I’ve been thinking about a lot of things.”

“Yes.”

Senpai started to speak bit by bit.

“There’s something I need to tell you, Takanashi-san… Something I’ve wanted to say for the past few days… But right now…”

Of course, Senpai would have something to say.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she scolded me.

So I also accept that with resignation…

“Senpai, I have something I need to say to you too, and something I need to apologize for. I’ll be honest with you. So if there’s anything you want to say, don’t hold back. Please.”

“……It was…”

Senpai spoke softly.

I couldn’t hear it very well.

“Sorry? I couldn’t hear you well.”

“It was scary.”

Senpai muttered again.

“I was scared… I was worried about what they would do to me…”

“It was the first time something like that had ever happened to me, and I had no idea how to react. I couldn’t run, but I couldn’t get caught either… When he grabbed my arm, so many thoughts went through my mind.”

Senpai looked downcast.

It’s only natural she would imagine the worst.

I’m glad I got here in time.

“I felt pathetic. I realized how inconsiderate I’d been… How I’ve hurt you, Takanashi-san… What kind of person I’d been… How my shallowness caused this whole mess…”

So that’s why she cried… It wasn’t just fear.

“I cried then because everything hit me at once. I was so happy that Takanashi-san had come. But then, after Natsumi and the president arrived, and Takanashi-san stepped away from me… I calmed down and finally understood what had actually happened to me.”

That must be why she grabbed my jacket like that.

“When I thought again about what they might have done to me… I…”

After she said that, it seemed like she was reminded of it again, and her hands started trembling a little again.

“Please! It’s over! You don’t need to think about it anymore!!”

What should I do here?

This situation… It reminded me of the past. Of her. Back then…

I stroked Senpai’s head with my free hand.

“Senpai… It’s all over now. I’m sure the student council president will take care of it. They have proof. Those guys won’t try anything again. And from now on, please come to me first if anything happens. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

“…Yes. I understand.”

I kept patting her head until her trembling stopped.

After a while, when I glanced at her, she had a ticklish smile and her eyes were softly narrowed.

Her hands had stopped shaking.

“It’s the first time someone other than my parents pat my head.”

“Sorry for being so sudden.”

I knew it wasn’t really appropriate, especially toward a girl, but I hadn’t had any other ideas.

In my experience, there was no other option.

“No, I didn’t hate it. It felt… natural.”

“Uh… Well, I used to do it for a childhood friend.”

“…I see. Was she a girl?”

“Uh, yeah. Technically.”

“…I see.”

“Um… Is something wrong?”

The flow of the conversation makes me feel like I’m being interrogated. Before I knew it, Senpai’s expression had returned to normal.

“No… It’s nothing… I don’t even know why I asked…”

Her voice trailed off, and I couldn’t catch what she said at the end.

“…Shall we leave this place now?”

Staying here too long would only bring back more bad memories.

“Yes. But, if it’s okay… Could we go to the flower bed? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

“Sure. I have things I want to say too.”

Either way, we needed to talk.

As we started walking toward the flower bed, I felt a tug.

Senpai had grabbed my blazer again.

“Senpai?”

“…Is this not okay?”

“…No, it’s fine.”

Right now, I should just let her do what she wants.

And so, in that state, we made our way to the flower bed.

Walking beside me, well, slightly behind me, Senpai looked like her usual self again, expressionless.

…But she still had my jacket in her hand. So clearly, she wasn’t back to normal.

“…Hey, what’s that?”

“…The Goddess with a guy?”

“…She’s holding his jacket. Look at that.”

“…Wait… What does that even mean?”

Naturally, as we headed to the flower bed, people stared. We definitely stood out…

Eventually, we arrived.

Well, at least here, there’s no one around, so it’s fine.